oh yeah uh my moms on drugs again like more than usual (she never really stopped she just started taking pills instead of shooting up) shes buying heavy pills off the street at this point and i dont want to be dramatic but like im watching her slip back into the person i remember when i was little and in my mind its just a matter of time until her organs completely fucking fail (she has terrible kidneys from drugs and lupus) and i should start distancing myself now because i can not deal with losing another person i can’t do it and she knows it and i think she’s pushing me away on purpose and like she’s so good at hiding shit better than anyone i know everyone thinks shes sober and fine and shes keeping up appearances but at home shes just a robot and she picking all her hair out and she just looks gray and im sure if she didnt hav thyroid issues she’d be fucking junkie thin again and she called me my brother’s name last night when i tried to put her to bed it’s just that im 90% sure i am watching my mother lose her mind and no one can do anything because she refuses to even acknowledge that anything is wrong and i just can’t fucking look at this family anymore because every woman is so strong and so fucking broken and is suffering with so many demons and i see all of them in me. my grandmothers alcoholism and bipolar disorder. my mother’s drug addiction and sexual abuse. it;s all too much at this point. if you’re reading this and you know me irl please don’t bring this up or talk about it because i will deny it and cut off contact like this is not something i will admit to out loud please respect my family and my privacy.